Woes of a semester-facing, tired by heat, not yet eighteen adult…

Really couldn’t think of a title for this post.. Coz this post is about nothing..  I can’t think of anything to write.  I rack my brains to think of something to talk.. practically nothing comes out of it. Anyway I decided that I ahd to write this post atleast to prevent a little bit of rusting. The blog is going to the dogs! Where are the blog lovers and addicts? Or have all gone to a random corner of the earth like me where the bleddy poor wi-fi network never allows you to sign onto wordpress.!?!?

I’ll start with this. I wrote abhi a seven page letter. Wait, six I guess. Anyway thats pretty long. Thats nearly 12 sides by itself. Poor guy had to read all of that. Anyway, I can really write when I want to! Why am I not able to write now?? Why why why?!?! Coz the impending doom called semester exams, which starts day after tomorrow prevents me from doing so. Right now, as I type this post, my mom’s screaming from the back asking me to study. I thought all that will get over with school. No.  Am in for more.  Am in college. I need to be resposible. I need to study coz its important for my future.  I need to rot.  in hell.

Okay. So I guess  I’ll stop now.  Have lots to do.  I hear someone saying rot. Yes, study. In this sweltering heat. i am dying! Help!

- To be continued

Its really funny how a sad post tries to make its way onto the blog only when a happy one is on its way. I had plans of writing about one of the best days I had(with a li’l regret) yesterday. Unfortunately it was quite a mistake to postpone it, coz now all that I have is an extremely sad post devoid of all humour. Its not sad. Its depressing. Life… is depressing. =(

I think a dozen dementors just fleeted past me and sapped me out of all the happiness and joy that filleed my heart and soul just a few hours ago.  Somehow I hate writing posts which drip in sadness, reflecting the agony and pain in my heart. But I just cannot help it sometimes. In fact, there are certain events which are taking place around me in the midst of which this post comes to life.

Sometimes, parents can be really frustrating. Especially when they impose a hundred rules on you (which I will be invariably posing on my daughted/son in the future) This post is not about that.  In fact its anything related to that. I just had to mention that one thing coz that was the last thing I heard before starting this post. Even a gloomy post requires its dose of ’sanity’

This post is about a group of weird people who can be really frustrating with their behaviour. Its not them. Its just the devil in them. The devil, the ego that makes them enforce certain rules on people around them. Especially when they know you cannot do anything about it. How much ever you try some people can never be erased from your life. How much ever you try.  i’ve just decided to stop trying coz it makes the whole thing a whole lot worse.

Well, this post was written nearly ten days ago but due to unfortunate circumstances it just couldn’t be published. Its just been a draft. Anyway I thought this post definitely deserves a place in my blog coz this was written @ a time when I had a lot of intense emotions overpowering me. Making me blind to a few situations. and made me miss a few joys.

So with lots of regret and remorse this post has been completed.

Trickles of sadness…

Well, this one goes on a sad note. One, coz am leaving Chennai and getting back to SASTRA. That one’s definitely depressing. Every single time! Second, I won’t see my sister for nearly another year!! That’s definitely tough.  Especially considering the fact that I didn’t get to spend the anount of time I wanted to. Couldn’t talk, tell her everything about me. Felt totally empty. Unsatisfactory conversations. Mostly one sided.

Bluddy Laryngitis. Doc advised me not to talk for a few days! Couldn’t talk to her. Besides, Mummy daughter love pulled her towards the kitchen. I really can’t complain. They share a better bonding. I really do envy them. Well, Its getting to serious. Chuck it.

Anyway, I didn’t get to meet any friends either. Only Abhishek. I was happy anyway that I met him. minus the hugs though. =( =(

Well, I went for Ghajini. Highlight of my trip. Not completely though. Had to go for the 7:30 show. For the first time in my life I saw what 5:30 am looked like. Lol.  My sis and I were wondering who would be completely jobless like us to watch a movie at 7:30 in the morning. Well, The theatre was packed full! Desperate Aamir fans or completely jobless people like me. Anyway, British Council disappointed me by announcing a holiday that day. =(  I miss the chocolate truffle..and someone’s company there. Yeah, I miss you bro!

Well, I can’t be depressed everytime i have to go back to college i guess. I really have to get used to going back to college. Leaving Chennai rather =(  *sniff*    I love my city.

Thats all for now I guess.  Enough ranting. By the way, I really love full stops. =D and using them at wrong places. and randomness. and wacked out people. =D =D =D

Will be a long while till i get back to blogging. WordPress is banned @ college. Wtf?!?!?! =(

And yeah..last, not the least    RIP Benezir.

Random…

Well, I’d be really mean if I wrote a Blogpost after my long sabbatical, without mentioning Abhishek. Was fun talking to you day before man. You didn’t call me yesterday night. Am pissed. =( =(

Anyway, one guy who gives me all the reasons to live. My bestest friend ever, Abhishek Swaminathan.
And yeah, ONE WORD can indeed change everything! Love you!

A beginning..

A beginning of wat? if you ask me.. I really dunno.. But I just feel different.. Like something in my life is starting all over again. Probably coz I’ve got down to penning my thoughts again, rathr typing them out. After so long, I am venting my anger, releasing the pressure in my head and also sharing my joys with the others. Rather, I’ve decided to.

Somehow travelling always makes me feel depressed. Especially travelling by bus. Quite strenous I know, but thats the best way to get home when decisions are made at the last moment. I’ve come to the point of life where I’ve nearly lost all confidence in myself, and lost all the belief I had in my ability to make friends. I mean, i feel odd. Out of place. Like I belong to a different world. A world which i left six months ago. DAV. Everything I did, and almost everyone i knew were related to it.
Now, when i meet various other people.. from different places and different mindset I feel odd. What I probably need is just time..but how long? Really can’t figure out.
I probably should have listened to Sathya when he said I should learn to be independent.. Esp. coz am in college and all that..and more importantly “CUT DOWN ON YOUR SOCIALIZING!!”
Screw it, I’ll try to be independent I decided. I know how many ppl would agree with me when I tell them its a completely tormenting herculean task to TRY to be independent. Yet, am trying..with all my efforts.,.honestly trying.. but I seem to need help in that too!

So I hit the question, can I be independent without seeking another person’s help?? I guess I need some time to find out the answer to that one too! But I really don’t think I am ready to spend time on that one. So I’ve just decided to be myself (that is, if I find out what that really is) and stay happy and make others happy.
The secret to that is, EAT A LOT OF CHOCOLATES (Especially Temptations RUM N RAISINS and share it with your seniors )
Lol. finally enough of this crappy shit..I guess I have to go have a shower now. i stink like a pig after that worshtu travel. =)

P.S. I’d really go to heaven if I don’t mention one incident with a close friend which really made me feel I haven’t lost my old friends nor have I lost my sanity. I msged him after a long time and we had the worlds most boring conversation possible..but after the conversation, he pointed out to me the fact that we haven’t spoken like that in months! and then I realised where the mistake was.. And later when i told him about the above.. the fact that I felt out of place the whole of the first semester he said 7 words which really touched me.. “Am there for you always..Don’t worry!”
The fact that a person who I haven’t spoken to for months and that he was never really in my inner circle of friends yet he touched me in a way none of my friends did, made me feel that True friends exist in this world after all!!

Well back to blogging after a small break. Exams starting in one week and its time for blues again. Exam blues! Unllike many people who aren’t usually afraid of the first exam in 12th, the pre- mid term, I am so damn nervous about this particular exam. Infact after typing out this post am heading straight back to my books to practise some math problems (Inverse trigo I guess..)

Well Blogging has been quite a bit of help as its helping me vent out my fears, nervousness and weird premonitions about the starting of 12th. I am not planning to listen to any of my senior’s advice, which have all been, “Orkut,Yahoo, mobile and enjoy..You can study later”

A decent 95% or above cannot be achieved with all that. So I have to undergo a year of sacrifice starting from june1st

Orkut and yahoo have to be restricted to just 1/2 an hour a day

Mobile fone – strict no-no except when necessary…(dats always :p)

T.V. – Can’t even think about it!

Going out with friends - After exams if possible.

If I strictly follow all this I’d probably end up getting a 470 above. The real talent is in managing a 95 +  score with all this. Striking the right balance is the most important.

All that I’ve typed above.. Something which all of us know but few of us will able to manage and succeed.

My confusion now is …will I be one among THE few who don’t sacrifice the joys of life yet manage getting thru the hectic 12th standard with flying colors…??

The confusion stays…

My best friend!!

This post is dedicated to my best friend. I decided to write this one because I just couldn’t write everything about him in those measly 1024 characters that orkut gave me to describe this person who’s so totally outta the world and close to my heart.

He’s just my best friend, the person who’s been there for me..is there for me and will be there for me always.

One person who can listen to all the trash that I speak without being bored.

One person who can listen to my complaints and woes without being judge mental about them except when necessary.

One person who can make me feel better just by saying a Hi (He has endless ways of saying a hi, “yo baby!” being my favorite..lol)

One person who can call me anything (He finds the weirdest of names to call me) and I just wouldn’t mind.

One person who can fight with me to no end and ends up telling more sorries than me (Oh am sorry am sorry am sorry… Oh oh am sorry am sorry…lol)

One person who has the rights to shout at me as much as he wants and I still won’t be angry with him.

One person who’ll shed his tears to stop me crying.

One person who can flirt with me all that he wants and I still won’t end up feeling uneasy coz It’ll seem funny at the end of it all!

One person who’s advice never seems bitter and is always the life boat for me in the sinking titanic.

One person who gives me the confidence to move on with something am unsure about.

One person who has so much in common with me that would make people even call us twin souls.

 One person who thinks almost the same way as I do; though even we have differences in our opinions either one manages to convince the other at the end of the conversation.

One person with whom I can act as advising grandma for one minute and little sister the next minute.

One person who can convince me outta anything or convince me to believe anything (not always though..)

One person who’s singing I can tolerate for hours no matter how bad it is..lol

One person whom I can insult how much ever I want, still he won’t feel bad.

One person on whom I can vent all my anger, still he won’t be angry.

Last and definitely not the least…One person who means a world to me…More than the world actually…Sum1 who’s always special to me and I won’t ever leave you buddy!

Ideal qualities of a best friend

Sum1 who-

Listens when I speak

Cares for my interests

Keeps my secrets

Confides in me

Helps me in my studies

Does not lie to me

Wishes me good genuinly

Talks good about me

Notices my good points

Encourages me

Listens to me when I feel sad, bad, lost

Pulls me out of a bad mood

Shares my happiness equally

Is joy to be with

Laughs with me and not at me!!

U perfectly define the word friendship… U totally rock da!!

This is enuff for this durty fool…idhuve too much…lol
Anyway luv ya buddy…mah best friend for life!

By the way, His name’s Shek..Abhishek…lol

That four letter word…

That four letter word…You may think this is a review about the Sudish Kamath movie that has just been released or you may think this post contains my views on ‘that four letter word’ commonly used for swearing and considered the most offensive word; or another common thought would be that, this post is all about the four letter word; that exists, prevails all around us, envelops us with its charm and takes us into its being; Love.

Basically, I myself dunno what this one is about. Four letter words are many and I believe that these words actually decide the way ‘that four letter word’, the obvious one, namely Life moves ahead.

The first most important 4 letter word-
LOVE – Passion and compassion; passion towards something decides the love you show towards that thing, be it an object or a hobby or a subject or a sport.
Compassion towards fellow human beings; tolerance & peace, all these involve this aspect of love which is a very important part of life.

HATE – A word that is just as important as the previous one. Hatred towards injustice, hatred towards non-violence, hatred towards discrimination, there are so many things to hate.

WORK – Another important word without which you cannot achieve success. A bit of work, or rather a lot of work is involved in getting to the top; in succeeding.

PLAY – Work is not all, play is required too. Work while you work, play while you play. This saying wasn’t just said without any implications. It just means that both ‘work’ and ‘play’ are a must in life and its up to you to strike a proper balance between the two.

LUCK – This is something that is required, though not always. A bit of luck in your way can always be of great help though it loses its value without ‘work’.

FAME – Something that automatically comes your way with success. You may wonder why I include ‘fame’ in my list of important words. You would be amazed to hear that this was one word that struck me first; Probably because everyone craves to achieve this one and so do I. With fame comes resposibility and the need to sustain your position at the top. So this ‘word’ motivates us to give in more than our best.

BEST – Be best in whatever you do. You hear this word everywhere you go, and its better than ‘good’, another four letter word, or better than better.

The last but not the least,

LIFE – The one word which is described and adorned with all these words. Learn to live and not just exist because life is precious; you get only one life to live for yourself.

I switched over to wordpress mainly coz of the advantages it has over blogger and the amazing facilities it offers. Besides, I wanted a change. Blogger was gettin to boring, lol.

I dont think I’ll record the daily happenings here on my blog though I would love to, coz a journey with me thro’ one day of mah life would certainly be a lot interesting(Am not blowing mah own trumpet, just tellin u wat mah blog has to offer)

Like every person’s first post; mine wouldn’t be describing who I am, wat kind of a person I am, my character, etc.
Instead I just start off posting stuff with no general intro as such.
Hope this was enuff. Was it?